My daughters walk in the front door from playing outside. “Hey, did you guys know the neighbors are voting for Donald Trump?” with concern in their voice.

The kids had all been talking politics while playing.

We respond casually, “Yeah, we assumed.”

“But why would they vote for someone like that?” asked my oldest.

I respond, “They can vote for whoever they want. That doesn’t mean anything bad about them. They’re good people and great friends.”

It’s a tension we try to walk in our home. Since the girls shaped their own opinions on Trump (see earlier post), we have been open and honest with where we stand.

At the same time, we have many friends and family members who are firmly on the Trump train.

Tribalism is innate to human beings. From an early age, we separate ourselves and cling to those with whom we feel safest and most aligned.

Our kids do this, too, by nature.

“It’s important that, even though we might disagree with people, we treat everyone with respect.” We told them. “It’s ok to disagree, but it’s not ok to belittle anyone or start fights. Be kind.”

Over the last decade or so, we have somehow conflated disagreement with disdain. As if disagreeing with me means you hate me and have ill will toward me.

You have probably felt this, too—strained relationships with friends or family members because you disagree with their politics or theology.

I’ve had my share of knockdown drag-outs with family and friends. I get it. I haven’t always conducted myself well, either.

As we lean into election season, the stress and strain on relationships will undoubtedly grow. Others will see our disagreements as disdain, and we will likely do the same.

It’s important we remember our relationships matter most. Give the person on the other end of the text, Facebook post, or phone call the benefit of the doubt.

Most people are well-intentioned.

Your friend who supports Donald Trump isn’t a bad person. Your family member who supports Kamala Harris isn’t evil.

We’re all just trying to do what we think is best.

Don’t shy away from hard conversations. Have them with respect and integrity. Be willing to listen as much as you push back. Walk away when necessary to preserve the relationship.

Two and a half months left. We can do this.