PSA: If you get pissed off and accidentally throw your iPhone across the room, it will shatter into a million pieces.

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Friday morning, in the torrential downpour caused by the remnants of Hurricane Helene, I trekked to the Verizon Wireless store down the street to replace my obliterated iPhone 14.

I sat down at the desk in the middle of the store, the rain pounding against the windows.

“Is that your business?” John the Verizon Guy asked. I was wearing my Moonflower Marketing hat.

Me: “Yes. It’s my marketing company.”

John: “Wow! That’s amazing. How long have you been in business?” he asked excitedly.

Me: “Um…” I look up and to the left to do quick math, “About eight years.”

John: “That’s incredible!” he said with sheer excitement in his eyes. “I need to call you! Do you have a card? I’ve got a new business I need some help with.”

I dug in my wallet for a business card and handed it to him.

John: “Man, I’m so excited about this.”

Me: hesitant smile “Yeah, so am I able to replace my phone?”

Why did I wilt like a dying flower?

Here he is, this twenty-something dude making fourteen dollars per hour at a cell phone shop. He probably spends half the day looking out the big windows, just dreaming of the day when his side hustle becomes his full-time gig.

Here I am, eight years into running a six-figure business that employs both me and my wife, feeling unsure of the validity of my business.

What in the world!? What is wrong with me?

You would think, in that moment, I would be confident in the near decade I have spent helping small businesses, nonprofits, churches, solopreneurs and more with their marketing.

Nope. I wilted like a flower.

No confidence at all. Splat.

Mindset is Everything

As someone who deals with crippling anxiety at times, it can be incredibly hard to maintain a positive mindset. Some days, I feel invincible. Other days I feel utterly powerless.

Life is a bit bipolar at times.

I’ve had days where I felt like if the President of the United States called me, I could solve his problems.

On other days, I lack the confidence to help my kids sell lemonade at the end of our street.

The old saying, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” holds up.

My ability to do great things has always been directly attached to whether or not I FEEL like I can do great things in the moment.

Reasonable Imposter Syndrome vs Unreasonable Doubt

Imposter syndrome is real, and it’s a good thing.

If you don’t have imposter syndrome once in a while, you’re probably a narcissist.

Imposter syndrome is simply the feeling of not being good enough or not worthy enough in any given area. Often, it is related to our work.

It’s a good thing because none of us is perfect, and we will always encounter others who are better than us at the things we do.

It’s healthy and reasonable when we notice it and work to improve ourselves or even decide, “I’m where I want to be, so I won’t let it bother me.”

It’s unhealthy and unreasonable when we notice it and doubt ourselves, “I’m not good enough. I’ll just quit.”

In that moment with John the Verizon Guy, I had every reason to be confident. I’m at least eight years ahead of him in my entrepreneurial journey and could easily help him skip a few steps.

However, in that moment, I unreasonably questioned my value, wilted, and changed the subject.

How do you stay confident?

This year, I watched a lot of women’s basketball. From March Madness through the current WNBA season, I’ve loved every minute of it.

Once in a while, a great shooter like Caitlin Clark, Sabrina Ionescu, or Arike Ogunbowale would struggle for a quarter or a half to get the ball to go in the basket.

The announcers would inevitably say, “She just needs to see one go in, and she’ll be fine.”

That’s what it feels like for me most of the time. When I lack confidence, it’s usually because business has been slow, and the leads I get aren’t turning into clients.

As soon as I get a client to sign and hold their initial strategy session, I see “one go through the hoop” and am back at full speed.

Unfortunately, running your own small business is anything but consistent most times.

To be honest, right now, I’m struggling with finding things outside of work to maintain my confidence.

One thing I’m trying more of is writing. So here we are.

How do you maintain your confidence through the ups and downs?